| "Home
Burial" |
| HE
saw her from the bottom of the stairs |
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| Before she saw him.
She was starting down, |
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| Looking back over her
shoulder at some fear. |
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| She took a doubtful
step and then undid it |
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| To raise herself and
look again. He spoke |
5 |
| Advancing toward her:
“What is it you see |
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| From up there
always—for I want to know.” |
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| She turned and sank
upon her skirts at that, |
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| And her face changed
from terrified to dull. |
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| He said to gain time:
“What is it you see,” |
10 |
| Mounting until she
cowered under him. |
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| “I will find out
now—you must tell me, dear.” |
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| She, in her place,
refused him any help |
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| With the least
stiffening of her neck and silence. |
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| She let him look,
sure that he wouldn’t see, |
15 |
| Blind creature; and a
while he didn’t see. |
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| But at last he
murmured, “Oh,” and again, “Oh.” |
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| “What is it—what?”
she said. |
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| “Just that I see.” |
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| “You don’t,” she
challenged. “Tell me what it is.” |
20 |
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| “The wonder is I
didn’t see at once. |
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| I never noticed it
from here before. |
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| I must be wonted to
it—that’s the reason. |
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| The little graveyard
where my people are! |
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| So small the window
frames the whole of it. |
25 |
| Not so much larger
than a bedroom, is it? |
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| There are three
stones of slate and one of marble, |
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| Broad-shouldered
little slabs there in the sunlight |
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| On the sidehill. We
haven’t to mind those. |
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| But I understand: it
is not the stones, |
30 |
| But the child’s
mound——” |
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| “Don’t, don’t, don’t,
don’t,” she cried. |
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| She withdrew
shrinking from beneath his arm |
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| That rested on the
banister, and slid downstairs; |
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| And turned on him
with such a daunting look, |
35 |
| He said twice over
before he knew himself: |
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| “Can’t a man speak of
his own child he’s lost?” |
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| “Not you! Oh, where’s
my hat? Oh, I don’t need it! |
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| I must get out of
here. I must get air. |
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| I don’t know rightly
whether any man can.” |
40 |
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| “Amy! Don’t go to
someone else this time. |
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| Listen to me. I won’t
come down the stairs.” |
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| He sat and fixed his
chin between his fists. |
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| “There’s something I
should like to ask you, dear.” |
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| “You don’t know how
to ask it.” |
45 |
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| “Help me, then.” |
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| Her fingers moved the
latch for all reply. |
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| “My words are nearly
always an offence. |
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| I don’t know how to
speak of anything |
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| So as to please you.
But I might be taught |
50 |
| I should suppose. I
can’t say I see how. |
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| A man must partly
give up being a man |
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| With women-folk. We
could have some arrangement |
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| By which I’d bind
myself to keep hands off |
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| Anything special
you’re a-mind to name. |
55 |
| Though I don’t like
such things ’twixt those that love. |
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| Two that don’t love
can’t live together without them. |
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| But two that do can’t
live together with them.” |
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| She moved the latch a
little. “Don’t—don’t go. |
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| Don’t carry it to
someone else this time. |
60 |
| Tell me about it if
it’s something human. |
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| Let me into your
grief. I’m not so much |
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| Unlike other folks as
your standing there |
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| Apart would make me
out. Give me my chance. |
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| I do think, though,
you overdo it a little. |
65 |
| What was it brought
you up to think it the thing |
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| To take your
mother-loss of a first child |
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| So inconsolably—in
the face of love. |
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| You’d think his
memory might be satisfied——” |
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| “There you go
sneering now!” |
70 |
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| “I’m not, I’m not! |
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| You make me angry.
I’ll come down to you. |
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| God, what a woman!
And it’s come to this, |
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| A man can’t speak of
his own child that’s dead.” |
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| “You can’t because
you don’t know how. |
75 |
| If you had any
feelings, you that dug |
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| With your own
hand—how could you?—his little grave; |
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| I saw you from that
very window there, |
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| Making the gravel
leap and leap in air, |
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| Leap up, like that,
like that, and land so lightly |
80 |
| And roll back down
the mound beside the hole. |
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| I thought, Who is
that man? I didn’t know you. |
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| And I crept down the
stairs and up the stairs |
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| To look again, and
still your spade kept lifting. |
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| Then you came in. I
heard your rumbling voice |
85 |
| Out in the kitchen,
and I don’t know why, |
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| But I went near to
see with my own eyes. |
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| You could sit there
with the stains on your shoes |
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| Of the fresh earth
from your own baby’s grave |
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| And talk about your
everyday concerns. |
90 |
| You had stood the
spade up against the wall |
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| Outside there in the
entry, for I saw it.” |
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| “I shall laugh the
worst laugh I ever laughed. |
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| I’m cursed. God, if I
don’t believe I’m cursed.” |
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| “I can repeat the
very words you were saying. |
95 |
| ‘Three foggy mornings
and one rainy day |
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| Will rot the best
birch fence a man can build.’ |
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| Think of it, talk
like that at such a time! |
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| What had how long it
takes a birch to rot |
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| To do with what was
in the darkened parlour. |
100 |
| You couldn’t
care! The nearest friends can go |
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| With anyone to death,
comes so far short |
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| They might as well
not try to go at all. |
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| No, from the time
when one is sick to death, |
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| One is alone, and he
dies more alone. |
105 |
| Friends make pretence
of following to the grave, |
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| But before one is in
it, their minds are turned |
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| And making the best
of their way back to life |
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| And living people,
and things they understand. |
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| But the world’s evil.
I won’t have grief so |
110 |
| If I can change it.
Oh, I won’t, I won’t!” |
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| “There, you have said
it all and you feel better. |
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| You won’t go now.
You’re crying. Close the door. |
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| The heart’s gone out
of it: why keep it up. |
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| Amy! There’s someone
coming down the road!” |
115 |
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| “You—oh, you
think the talk is all. I must go— |
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| Somewhere out of this
house. How can I make you——” |
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| “If—you—do!” She was
opening the door wider. |
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| Where do you mean to
go? First tell me that. |
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| I’ll follow and bring
you back by force. I will!—” |
120 |